(Hank plays a lively Beat Band plays she'll be coming around the mountain as the scene changes.)
Scene 2 Out On the Range
Hickok: The legends of the West were built on cattle and men who raised them. Horsemanship, roping, and sharp shooting were skills every cowboy needed, and the rough, fearless nature of the cowboy was enhanced by weeks of living on the prairie. (Hickok steps into scene)
Hickok: Howdy, boys.
Tom: Howdy, Bill. Would you like some beans and hardtack?
Hickok: Don't mind if I do. (Hickok settles by the fire as Tom hands him a plate. Will throws a rope at a stump but misses.)
Sam: What are you young 'uns up to over there?
Will: I'm trying to rope that stump but it won't go over.
Sam: Give 'er here Will. (Sam takes the Rope) hold the rope open with your fist and give 'er a flick.
Will: Yes, sir. (he tries again) how was that?
Sam: Better
Russ: You'll be punchin' cows in no time.
Bill: Let me try!
Phil: Me to!
Will: (suddenly the expert) Now you hold the rope open like this and give 'er a flick.
(Cows moo and Steve enters)
Steve: Cattle are acting a mite skittish. Better pull out your harmonica Tom.
Bill: Why does Tom play his harmonica to the cows?
Steve: If the cows smell a coyote or a storm the music calms them down and stops them from stampedin'.
Russ: Even if even a few head scatter, it'll take us all day to round them up.
(Cows moo again)
Sam: Somethin's makin' them nervous.
Tom: Feels like a storm to me. I better play their favorite.
Phil: Aww, cows can't tell the difference!
Tom: Sure they can! Just watch. I'll have them settled in no time.
Musical number “Home on the Range” (the cactus and the Cowboys do simple choreography The Jug Band and Hickok join in at the end of the song the Cowboys and the cacti end in a big pose. The music changes to “she'll be coming around the mountain” as the stagecoach rolls in Elizabeth and Isabelle jump out)
Elizabeth: Ooooh! Cowboys! Prudence, bring your camera!
(Prudence jumps out and set up an old fashioned camera)
Isabelle: Look at the cactuses!
Headmistress: (looking out the window) the plural is not cactuses young lady it is cacti!
Isabelle: Yes ma'am. Look at the cacti.
Prudence: Smile for the birdie! (The camera gives off a big poof and the girls jump into the stage and roll off)
Steve: What in thunderation was that all about?
Tom: Strangest sight I ever seen.
Sam: Tarnation! I'm blind. (staggers around.)
(We hear a rolling thunder in the distance)
Steve: Looks like a storm a brewin'. We'd best hunker down for the night.
Tom: You young 'uns get on over here by the fire.
Will: What for? It's just a little storm.
Phil: Yeah! A little rain don't bother us!
Tom: Suit yourselves but don't come cryin' to us when the Indian ghosts come flyin' by.
All three boys: Indian Ghost?
Sam: (pointing to the sky) The ghosts love to hide and them Big black Thunder heads.
Bill: Who are the Indian ghosts?
Indian number
Many moons ago when Mother Earth was young, darkness covered the land, and our people struggle to live. Food would not grow, and the game was hard to find. Our people look to the sky, but saw nothing. (Demons enter and run about.) At last, loud noises in the sky were heard, and the people thought the great spirit had come to relieve them from their trials, but the noises were made more by three powerful demons. These demons played in the sky like children, but they were they caused Great destruction on the land. Mountains tumbledown and long riffs were torn in the Earth. With much fear the people cried for help, and after a Time, the Mighty Warrior Kumwahtu came to their aid. His moccasins were as Foothills, and his shoulder stretched across the sky. Buffalo ran before his long stride, and his brother the eagle flew about his head. Kumwahtu climb to the sky and called for the demons to stop their play. (Long ribbon symbolize the slashing spear.) This angered the demons and they fought Kumwahtu, but Kumwahtu's long spear slashed the air with its White, Stone, point Crossing through the darkness. Kumwahtu fought the demons for a long time before they began to tire. (Black lights turn off and the demons exit. Strobe lights turned on, sun moon and stars enter,) Finally Kumwahtu pierced skin of the demons and their playful energy burst out and shown as light to the Earth. The first demon run across the sky as the sun. The second chased him as the moon. And the third was shattered into many pieces which shown as the Stars. (Indians begin to dance in a circle) Our people now had light and their Joy was so great that they danced upon the Earth and chanted their grateful praise to the powerful Kumwahtu. It is still our custom to dance before the Sun, Moon and stars. And when the black clouds cover the skies we remember our beginnings in the darkness and look up to see Kumwahtu his mighty spear slash the sky.
Scene 3 The Saloon
Hickok: After several weeks on the hot, dusty trail, cowpoke's would drive their herds into the large corral's, and head for a hot bath. Then they would mosey on over to the saloon where they would greet friends and wet their whistles with an ice cold root beer and play a hand or two of fish. Of course, cards weren't always enough to entertain a strong man with fists of steel and a temper as hot as a glowing poker. They also liked a little music and dancing (Hickok walks over to the card game.)
Musical number: “The Can-Can”
(dance ends, Cowboys Hoot and Holler and wave their hats in the air.)
Ned: Yeehaw! Now That's what I call entertainment! (Walks up to Clara and offers her his arm) you're the best dancer I ever done seen!
Clara: Well, bless my stars! Ain't you the perfect gentleman!
Harry: (approaching Sarah) Pardon me Miss, but I think you're awful purty.
Sarah: (giggling) That's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me!
Jen: which one of you Cowpokes is going to get buy me a sarsaparilla?
Henry: (Swagger's up to her and lifts up his hat) It'll be my pleasure ma'am.
Missy: (walking over to a very intense card game) My goodness! What's going on over here?
Sam: Dog on it! I'm out. (throws his cards on the table)
Hickok: Me too. (throws down cards and walks over to the bar)
Steve: To rich for my blood!
Russ: It looks to me like my partner Tom and that Feller are about evenly matched, but this hand could change all that.
Henry: Come on in Biff you can do it.
(A crowd gathers around the table to watch the action.)
Biff: I got you now you low-down cowpuncher. (he leans in) got any threes? (Crowd gasps)
Tom: (also leans in) Go Fish. (Crowd Boos)
Biff: You can't have a fish!
Tom: I do so!
Biff: Where did that card come from?
Tom: I had it right here all the time.
Biff: (pushing away from the table and leaping to his feet) Why you dirty rotten cheater! I'll teach you to mess with me!
Tom: (also jumping up and pointing at Biff) I dare you to try!
(Biff pushes over the table over. Tom and several other people begin a huge bar room brawl. The ladies scream the men throw punches and etc at the height of the fighting a pair of boots appear in The swinging doors. Calamity Jane steps through. Her hair is tucked up in her hat. She fires a shot into the ceiling everyone freezes and looks at her.)
Calamity: What in the name of sweet Betsy from Pike is going on in here?
Tom: It's the sheriff!
Calamity: (picking up Ned by his collar) I asked a question cowboy and you better give me an answer!
Ned: Sheriff it's all just a little misunderstandin'
Calamity: Well who started this little misunderstandin'?
(Crowd points to Biff)
Fran: That's him, Sheriff! The big mean one!
Biff: You ain't puttin' me in jail Sheriff. I ain't afraid of any man!
Calamity: (calmly walks over to Biff and removes her hat. Her hair falls around her shoulders men all gasp and step back) I'm the new sheriff in this here town and my name is Calamity Jane! And I am very capable of putting you in jail!
Russ: I don't believe my eyes! If it's a carn sarn woman!
Calamity: Who are you calling a carn sarn Woman? I can take the lot of you and then some. Now get your carcasses over there and apologize to the saloon keeper for bustin' up his joint.
Harry: (moving to support Biff) Who are you to be tellin' us what to do?
Henry: Yeah, why don't you go knit some doilies or....
(before he can finish she twirls her gun and shoots Harry's hat off then shoots the glass out of Henry's hand and she ends up with the pistol pointed right at Biff's face)
Harry: Land all Mighty!
Henry: Holy Moley!
Calamity: Well? You goin' to apologize?
Biff: y..y..yes Ma'am.
Calamity: Clean this place up!
(The Cowboys start to clean the place, up put chairs back sweep up etc. Thile they offer their apologies to the barkeeper. Sorry about the mess. We'll straighten her right out, Looks as good as new. I'll sweep up, etc)
Sal: Atta a girl Calamity!
Jill: Calamity Jane's the best sheriff this town's ever had!
Calamity: All right now let's strike up a tune and you fellahs can dance for the ladies for a change. (Cowboys complain loudly)
Calamity: Either kick up those heels on the dance floor or Park those heels in my jail cell. (She'll be coming around the mountain plays in the stage rolls in as the Cowboys do the can-can and the twins and Victoria jump out)
Hannah: Now that's something you don't see every day!
Anna: Look headmistress those Cowboys are doing the can-can!
Victoria: Prudence! Take a picture take a picture!
(Prudence sticks out her head out of the window and the camera goes poof the girls climb back into the stage and it rolls out while the can-can ladies laugh and Catcall at the dancing Cowboys)
Nell: Now that Calamity Jane sure is something!
Bessie: She's my hero!
Emmy: Let's play Sweet Betsy from Pike in her honor!
(Jug Band plays Sweet Betsy from Pike is the scene changes)
Scene 4 Bronco-bustn'
Hickok: One of the most famous and most dangerous western traditions was the rodeo. 1200 lbs of horseflesh jumpin' spinnin' and bucking like its hooves were on fire and one Cowboy usin' all the strength and wit's he has to stay on its back. Since a cowboy was only half a man without a horse, most were pretty decent at Bronco bustin'.
(Hickok walks into scene and leans on the fence with the other Cowboys.)
Hickok: That's a mighty fine piece of horseflesh.
Red: The finest horse I ever seen. Too bad no one can come near it.
Mark: We've been trying to break him for months and not one single, solitary cowpoke can get on him.
Hickok: You don't say?
Ted: A month ago I was the best bronco rider in the territory. I climbed up on that demon's back and before I could get ahold of the girth I'm lyn' in a heap 50 yards away with a busted-up shoulder.
Fred: That's nothin'. That horse threw me two miles! I had to crawl back on my elbows on account of my two broken legs.
Red: You're both a couple of greenhorns! You see this? (He removes his hat to reveal a bandage tied around his head to Hickok) I managed to stay on that devil horses back for two whole seconds. I guess that made him mad cuz he bucked so hard it threw me clear to the Moon. I cracked my head on the darned thing and fell for 3 weeks before I landed.
Jed: Go on. What a tail!
Earl: You expect us to believe that?
Hickok: Why don't you just let the horse go?
(Cowboys ad lib there protests)
Mark: are you sick in the head! This horse can run faster than an antelope, jump across the Grand Canyon and round up a herd of buffalo without breaking a sweat! There's got to be a cowboy's somewhere that can ride him.
Fred: Whoever can gentle that Beast will have the himself the finest horse in the country. (Suddenly the lights flicker and we hear a loud wind fog oozes from behind the curtain and a cowboy steps through)
Cowboys: Ooooh!
Bud: And who might you be stranger?
Pecos Bill: I am the rip-snortinest, Rootin tootinest, gol-durnest cowboy to ever lay a boot track in the desert sand. I am meaner than a rattlesnake, stronger than a grizzly bear and more stubborn than a mountain goat. I can ride longer, fight harder and shoot straighter than any man alive I'm Pecos Bill.
Cowboys: (amazed) Pecos Bill!
Ted: I heard you was raised by coyotes!
Pecos: Yep
Fred: I heard you dug the Rio Grande with a stick.
Pecos: Yep
Red: I heard you can shoot the trigger finger off the 50 men!
Pecos: 50 men? Now that's a tall tale if I ever heard! 49, yeah but 50? It can't be done.
Mark: What brings you out this way, Pecos?
Pecos: I heard there was a horse out here that couldn't be broke so I lassoed up a passing tornado and rode it on over here to see for myself.
Mark: There sure is, Pecos he's right over here.
Pecos: Whoo-wee! Now that's a bee-yoo-tiful horse!
Red: Sure is, Pecos. We call him the Widowmaker.
Fred: Watch yourself Pecos! He's a mean one!
(Boys stand in front of a fence and react to the Bronco ride stage roles in and Eastern girls all climb out to watch Pecos and take a picture horse gallops around and someone throws a dummy up in the air dress like Pecos Bill everyone makes a lot of noise.)
Buck: Look at him ride!
Ted: I've never seen anything like it!
Red: Truly amazing!
Pecos Bill: Yee-Haw! Now that's what I call a ride! Widowmaker, you and I are going to be partners from here on out! (He kisses Widowmaker on the lips.)
Prudence: Hold it! (Takes another picture)
All girls: Eww! he kissed a horse! (They climb back in the stage and roll out.)
Mark: What are you going to do now, Pecos?
Pecos: Me and Widowmaker are going to ride out to Californy. We need to snare a rainstorm and pull it over the Texas desert. Come on, Widowmaker!
Cowboys: (all cheer and smack Pecos on the back throw up their hats as lights go down then up on the band.)
Jeb: Pecos Bill is the best Cowboy ever.
Hank: I never saw a more excitin' ride than that!
Emmy: Stop your yappin' and start playin'!
Musical Number: Skip to My Lou
Scene 5 The Sharp Shooters
Hickok: Sharp Shooting was more than an acquired skill on the Prairie, it was a necessity. A cowboy would never know when some dangerous varmint would crawl out from underneath the rock. Most Cowboys could drill a rattlesnake at fifty paces. Of course, not all dangerous varmints were critters.
(We can hear guns going off and then two robbers run onto the stage with bags of money in their hands and scarves on their faces.
Banker: (coming out of the bank) Stop, stop you, thieves. Help! Help! They have robbed the bank!
Annie Oakley: (entering) Alright you varmints, drop your weapons and reach for the sky! (She shoots a warning shot over their heads, they stop short.)
Robber Will: Alright, don't shoot!
Robber Bill: You got us! We'll put down our guns.
Annie: (taking the money and handing it to the banker) Here you go Mr. Dollar.
Banker: Bless you Annie how can we ever thank you. You're a real hero.
Annie: Glad to be of service. (Turning to the robbers) Now you onrey polecats turn around and march yourselves to jail.
Frank Butler: (coming in) Well done, Miss Oakley. Now, if you'll just step aside, I'll take it from here.
Annie: I'll do no such thing.
Frank: What do you mean you'll do no such thing? I'm the best shot round here, these criminals are safest under my supervision.
Annie: I caught them, I got the money and their guns, so I'll turn them over to the sheriff!
Frank: I am stronger and more experienced in these matters. Don't be so difficult.
Annie: Difficult! Who's being difficult!
Frank: You're being difficult, you stubborn goat!
Annie: Stubborn goat? Why you, you... Jack Dandy! I can out shoot you any day!
Frank: Outshoot me? Not on your life! Not now, not ever!!
Banker: (comes in) Now, now, let's not get ugly. The best way to settle this one is with a shooting contest.
Crowd shouts approval, great let's do it! You can take her Frank! Come on Annie show em what you're made of. He doesn't have a chance.
Banker: Just so there's no more arguing, Frank you go first.
Annie: Fine with me!
Frank: See those three buckets over there?
Annie: That's too easy.
Frank: Not the way I'm doing it. (Frank turns and puts his gun over his shoulder and covers his eyes with the other hand and he shoots three shots and we see the buckets jump into the air.)
Crowd cheers and hollers: Your turn Annie, call your shot.
Annie: Well Frank, I'm going to ricochet a bullet off of the spittoon and hit the school bell... (Crowd gasps) ….over the top of my head... Backwards! (Annie puts the gun over her head and turns around and shoots we hear a bullet ricochet off of the spittoon over the heads of the several Town people and we hear the school bell ring crowd cheers and hollers)
Frank: That's pretty impressive, Annie, but I'll bet you'll never beat my next trick. Watch this! (He pulls out 3 playing cards) I'll need 3 volunteers (three people step forward he lines them up and give them a playing card) Now ladies and gentlemen I am going to ricochet a bullet off of the spittoon, Bounce it off the school bell and then hit all three cards! (Frank take aim and two of the people with cards step back)
Frank: Get back in line you cowards! (Takes aim and shoots, the bullet makes sound effects as it goes from the spittoon to the bell to the cards)
Crowd: Oohs and aahs and cheers and ad libs What a shot! He's the winner! You can't beat that!
Annie: Hold it, hold it, I ain't done yet.
Banker: How can you beat that shot, Annie?
Annie: (points at the audience) You see that?
Crowd: What?
Annie: It's the edge of the world. I'm going to shoot clear around the world and knock Frank's hat off.
Crowd: No, that can't be done! (they all shake their head everybody stares over the audience, and she takes aim shoots sound effects while the audience is turned to the front the robbers sneak off. Frank's had his knocked off)
Crowd: cheers and whoops and hollers.
Banker: Well Annie, looks like you get to run the robbers off to jail. Hey, where are the robbers? (Everyone looks around sheepishly)
Annie: Oh no, they're gone. Dog on it Frank, now look what you've done!
Frank: Me? What do you mean what I've done?
(Just then the stagecoach comes in from stage right chasing the robbers. The girls are shooting them with their camera.)
Elizabeth: Shoot him again Hannah!
Annie: There they are! (She runs after them) Come back here you low-down polecats...
Frank: Oh no you don't, I'll get them. Put your hands up you Ruffians. (He runs after them)
Hickok: Well it looks like they will be in the next County before they catch up to them villains.
Hank: Shootin' those onery Robbers with the camera?
Emmy: That's great for the picture album.
Bessie: But it won't get them into jail.
Nell: don't worry Annie will nab them.
Musical number: Buffalo Gals
(While prairie dog Town comes in.)
Scene 6 The Prairie Dog Town
Hickok: Now out here in this Wild Country you had to look out for a lot of wild, dangerous Critters. There were rattlers as big as your arm! Scorpions, tarantulas, vultures, and poisonous lizards! There were also other dangers, such as prairie dog towns. No, the prairie dogs didn't bite you, but they would Burrow under the ground until there were just holes everywhere. And that was mighty dangerous for a gallopin' horse or a wagon or a buggy trying to roam the plains. There really was no way to get rid of them, though it was fun to try.
(He runs out and tries to whack one and three others pop up then he runs to smack them and two others pop-up etc. He finally gives up and stomps off and the prairie dogs pop up and sing a short choreographed number musical number “Home on the Range Chipmunk style” as soon as this is over the stage comes roaring in, it hits one of the Mounds and we hear a tire pop.)
Scene 7: The Stagecoach
Headmistress: What is it? What has happened?
Elizabeth: It looks like we hit a prairie dog hole and it popped our tire.
Anna: Oh no, what now?
Victoria: Well, we'll just have to change it.
Headmistress: Do any of you young ladies have any experience in tire changing? (They all shake their heads)
Isabelle: I know how to shoe a horse.
Prudence: Now what do we do?
Headmistress: Well I guess we'll just have to sit tight until someone comes along.
Hannah: Does that mean we have to stay out here all night?
Anna: I don't want to be out here in the dark!
Hannah: (frightened) I don't either, there are snakes out here!
Headmistress: Now, now girls just calm down. We'll think of something. Or we will have to walk back to town.
Victoria: But that's miles and miles away. How can we ever walk that far?
Elizabeth: It would take us a week to walk back as far as we've come.
Headmistress: It's a long way, but we just may have to do it. Wait, do you hear something?
(We hear Galloping hoof beats and the Long Stranger and Pronto come riding down the aisle)
Hickok: Return with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear, from out of the Past come the Thundering hoof beats of that great horse, Sliver. The Long Stranger rides again.
Long Stranger: Hi Ho sliver, and stop! There seem to be some young maidens in distress.
Pronto: Kemo Sabe, they have a flat tire.
Long Stranger: Yes Pronto, we must help them. Did you bring your tire iron.
Pronto: Yes Kemo Sabe, I have it right here in my saddle bag.
Long Stranger: Howdy, young ladies may we be of assistance?
Hannah and Anna: We're saved!
Headmistress: (as they go to work on the tire) We are mighty grateful you came along.
Prudence: We sure are, it's a long walk back to town.
Isabelle: And there are wild creatures out here.
(the prairie dogs stick their heads out and scare the girls and they scream)
Pronto: Little dogs not dangerous. Just curious!
Headmistress: How can we ever thank you?
Long Stranger: Glad to be of service ladies. There it is all fixed as good as new (they take another tire out from behind the wagon and stick it on the old one with velcro)
Isabelle: May we please have your autograph?
Prudence: And a picture? (They all gather together and take a picture)
Long Stranger: And now we bid you farewell. Come along Pronto, it's time to ride.
Hi Ho, Sliver and away!
Hank: Who was that masked man anyway?
Bessie: Why don't you know?
Jeb: That was the Long Stranger! (The Jug Band plays while the scene changes)
Scene 8 Showdown Way Out West
Hickok: Great stories of good versus bad were numerous as the tricky little prairie dogs in the plains. In every town one drama after another would unfold before your very eyes. One of the most common conflicts that occurred was between the big Cattlemen and the small farmer. The Cattleman wanted free range, the farmers wanted to fence off land for their crops. Some of these feuds went on for years, and most ended with gunfire.
(Hickok steps into the scene and joins the crowd gathered around the mayor.)
Mayor: Good People of Our Fair Town, Welcome to our Harvest Festival! (People cheer) This farming season is one of the best we've ever had the crops have grown better than we expected and the Harvest has been most fruitful. Now as mayor I have always encouraged you to help each other as much as possible. And since most of you have already harvested your crops, I am hoping you will get on over to Belle's farm and help her bring in her wheat.
Sally: (addressing the crowd) Things have been pretty hard on Belle since her father passed on. She needs to bring in her crop right away in order to pay off her mortgage.
Sourdough: We don't need no help! I can do it all myself!
Sally: Come on now sourdough, even you need help at Harvest Time.
Farmer 1: I'll help! I'll come on over first thing tomorrow and I'll bring my team.
Woman 1: Belle has always been there for us, my boys will be there to help and I'll cook up a mess of vittles for lunch.
Woman 2: I'll bring some fresh milk and biscuits.
Farmer 2: You can count on me too, Belle.
(Crowd ad-libs their support and willingness to help.)
Belle: Oh, thank you all so much.
Little Nell: (pulling on Belle's skirt) Can I help too, Belle?
Belle: Of course, little Nell. You can help me bake cookies for the farmers.
Little Nell: Yummy!
Blackjack: Well now, ain't that right neighborly of all you folks.
(Jack's thugs laugh as they push their way into the center of the crowd.)
Mayor Mr. Underhand? What brings you into town?
Blackjack: Why Miss Belle's terrible crisis of course.
Sourdough: Now you just skedaddle out of town blackjack! Belle's mortgage money ain't due till next week! She'll pay you on time, so take your goons and go back to your ranch!
Blackjack: Simmer down old man. I've come to offer Bell a way out of her mortgage problem. (Crowd reacts)
Sally: (suspicious) Just what do you mean a way out?
Blackjack: Belle's father bought that land from me when he moved out here. At the time I thought it was a good idea, but now I need it back. I aim to turn it into grazin' land.
Sourdough: Now just how is Belle supposed to make a livin'?
Blackjack: That's the beauty of my deal! Belle won't need to make a livin'.
Belle: (stepping forward) What do you mean Mr. Underhand?
Blackjack: I'll forgive the mortgage if you marry me.
(The crowd gasps in horror)
Belle: Marry you?
Blackjack: If you say no, the contract stands, and I'll take your land anyway.
Sally: But you can't take her land if she pays the mortgage!
Blackjack: That's true, but a lot of bad things can happen to a young gal alone on the Prairie.
Sourdough: She ain't alone! She's got us! And we won't let a low-down Sidewinder like you harm a hair on her head.
Hunk: (grabbing sourdoughs hat) What you going to do, old man? (tosses it to Twist)
Twist: Better be careful Hunk, he could kill you with his breath!
(The thugs laugh and continue to throw sourdoughs hat as he angrily limps around trying retrieve it.)
Jake: (to Belle) If this little weasel is the best you dirt farmers got, you better think about our generous offer.
Belle: I don't need to think about it. I've already decided. (She bravely walks over to Blackjack) I won't marry you. But I will harvest my wheat and pay you off.
Sally: You tell him Belle!
Blackjack: You'll never get all that wheat harvested before the mortgage is due.
Woman 1: We'll help Belle Harvest her crop.
Farmer 1: And you'll get your money, that's all you care about.
Blackjack: Well my dear, if that's what you really want...
Belle: It is.
Blackjack: Then we best be on our way. Come on boys back to the ranch.
Sourdough: Good riddance ya varmints! Go crawl back into yer holes!
(Blackjack and his thugs cross downstage while the townspeople gather around Belle.)
Jake: The only thing standing between you and everything you want is that crop of wheat.
Blackjack: My life would be a whole lot easier if that crop suddenly disappeared.
Twist: You want us to set it on fire?
Blackjack: And ruin a perfectly good parcel of grazing land? Think of something else.
Hunk: I know what to do, you can count on us boss.
Blackjack: Whatever you do do it quick, and leave me out of it.
Thugs: (together) Yes, boss. (The bad guys slink out of sight Blackjack crosses to Saloon as mayor retakes Center Stage.)
Mayor: Well, now that all that nasty business is behind us, let us resume the celebrating! Everybody take your places for a Hoedown!
Musical number: “Oh Susanna”
(crowd cheers in the dance music. After the dance everyone laughs and happily interacts with
each other.)
Little Nell: (Crossing downstage to Belle) Do you hear something? (Nobody pays attention. Little Nell pulls on Belle's skirt.) Is a storm coming? It sounds like thunder.
Belle: I don't see any clouds.
Little Nell: But I hear a rumble.
Belle: Sourdough! Do you hear anything?
Sourdough: Everybody hesh up for one bloomin' second! (Everybody stops to listen. A low constant Rumble is heard it slowly gets louder.)
Sally: What is it?
Farmer 2: The ground is shaking.
Sourdough: Stampede!
Mayor: Everybody take cover!
Belle: (grabbing Little Nell) Run Little Nell!!
(Everybody runs and Dives for cover as the rumble reaches its peak. Loud mooing, snorting fill the auditorium as several tiny children dressed as cows run across after they cross the sound dies down and people come out of hiding sourdough exits where the cows came in.)
Belle: Are you alright little Nell?
Little Nell: Yes, I think so.
Mayor: Is anybody hurt? (Crowd ad-libs we're fine, that was close, Etc)
Sally: What on Earth could have scared those cattle so badly?
Sourdough: I know what done it! Three or four big ugly varmints with guns and hats!
Belle: You mean Mr. underhand and his men?
Mayor: They wouldn't dare do something so despicable!
Sourdough: Oh they wouldn't? Then I suppose it's just a coincidence that Belle's wheat has been trampled to the ground!
Sally: Oh no!
Belle: My wheat! (Crowd reacts with surprise and alarm) Oh, what do I do now?
(right on cue, Blackjack exits out of the saloon.)
Blackjack: What a tragedy. What a terrible loss. An entire season of hard work trampled into the dirt.
Sourdough: You did this you lily-livered snake!
Blackjack: Impossible! I was in the saloon the whole time, just ask the bartender.
Mayor: (turning to the bartender) Is that true Dusty?
Dusty: Yes, Mayor White. He was in there during the Stampede.
Blackjack: There you see? Just as I said, (starting over to Belle) now maybe you'll reconsider my offer.
Belle: I won't marry you.
Blackjack: Then you'll lose the farm.
Belle: I'll think of something.
Blackjack: There's nothin' you can do unless you can scratch money out of the dirt.
Sally: I'll pitch in!
Farmer 1: So will I!
Farmer 2: We'll all give some!
Belle: Thank you, but I'm afraid it won't be enough.
Blackjack: (then it's settled. To the crowd) You'll all be invited to the wedding of course!
Belle: I won't marry you!
Blackjack: (grabbing her on her arm) You have no choice!
Wyatt Earp: (entering and leaning against a post) Excuse me partner, but I'll have to ask you to let that lady alone.
Blackjack: This ain't none of your business, stranger!
Wyatt Earp: All trouble is my business. (He pulls back his coat to reveal a tin star)
Crowd: Ooohh!
Mayor: You must be the sheriff we've been waiting for.
Wyatt: Yep, name is Wyatt Earp. (To Blackjack) Maybe you and I should have a little talk about that Stampede, and the whereabouts of those three men that were with you earlier.
Blackjack: (releasing Belle) I ain't got nothing to hide, their right here. (Jake, Hunk and Twist enter and stand at Blackjack's side) What do you say to that, sheriff? (stepping closer to Wyatt)
Wyatt: (moving right up to Blackjack) I say, this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
Crowd: Aaah!
Jake: I always wanted to say that.
Blackjack: Then it's a showdown.
Wyatt: Twenty paces at High Noon.
Blackjack: Suits me. (To Hunk) Hunk, what time is it?
Hunk: (fumbling with his watch) 11:56.
(Wyatt and blackjack run to their places Twenty Paces from each other. We hear showdown music as Wyatt takes four steps with sound effects of a boot step and a Spur jingle Blackjack takes three steps we hear four Boot Steps he quickly steps once more to catch up)
Blackjack: Draw!
Wyatt: You first!
(Suddenly “She'll be coming around the mountain plays very fast the stagecoach quickly rolls past with a big camera poof and keeps rolling till it's out.)
Wyatt: What in thunderation was that?
Blackjack: The strangest sight I ever seen!
Crowd: Tarnation!
Mayor: Ah hem, now where were we?
Wyatt: Give it up Blackjack! I'm the fastest draw in the West!
Blackjack: We'll just see about that! (Jack draws, but Wyatt is faster. Wyatt fires and his bullet hits Jack's belt buckle causing his pants to fall to his knees and revealing bright red underwear) Blackjack: What the...
Sourdough: Holy smokes look at them fancy drawers!
(crowd laughs loudly as Blackjack fumbles with his pants. His men try to help with Blackjack and he slaps them away)
Belle: Oh, sheriff, you are wonderful!
Wyatt: My pleasure miss. You don't need to worry about that crook forcing your hand while I'm Sheriff.
Belle: Thank goodness. I could never respect a man who wears such tacky underwear!
Wyatt: Now you four are under arrest.
Mayor: What for Sheriff?
Wyatt: Seems they've been claiming to hold mortgages on several properties and collecting money that doesn't belong to them.
Sally: You mean Belle doesn't really owe him anything?
Wyatt: Nope, not a cent.
Sourdough: Why you dirty thief and varmint!
Belle: How can I ever repay you?
Wyatt: Well, a dance would be a good start.
Belle: Yes, a dance is an excellent start.
Mayor: Is this a party or not? Let's dance!
Music: “Wild Bill Hickok's Western show”
(Eastern girls entered dialogue with Hickok occurs during under store score)
Hickok: Well girls I see you are back safe and sound.
Headmistress: Thank you so much for the wonderful experience Colonel Hickok! The girls and I learned so much!
Elizabeth: It was fun!
Victoria: Exciting!
Isabelle: Wild!
Prudence: Scary!
Twins: It was just incredible!
Hickok: I knew the tour was the only way for you to truly appreciate the wild west! You must have gathered a lot of memories.
Headmistress: Prudence documented our entire trip with her camera.
Prudence: Oh! We need one more picture! (Pointing to an audience member) excuse me, but could you take our picture? (Audience member who was planted jumps up and takes a picture of the entire cast.)
Prudence: Thank you! (She takes her camera off stage.)
Hickok: (to audience) Well that about wraps up our show for today. On behalf of my cast and myself, thanks for coming, and Yee haw!!
Reprise: “Wild Bill Hickok's Western show”
